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A Sip Of Life

31 Dec

[play song as you read]

Every year will never be the same.  And it shouldn’t be, because that is what makes life so wonderful to live.  To not know what is just around the next fork in the road.  All the wonderful things that are not planned but just happen.  God’s way, Gods plan, God’s direction for us.  To wake up every day where anything is possible is the greatest of the greatest of things in life…even finding love. 


This time it’s my year spent with my parents and siblings. I thought I’d be happier here. To be with them you know. Everyone of them. Their presence is needed but the environment is not.  And in my glass dome that I feel I live in, I have come to realize that these moments are so very precious, and one day they won’t be here.  And I will look back upon these days and wish I could turn the clock back and be exactly where I am now.  Home!  Because you know what, not everybody has a home and love and are cherished by so many.  Well, I have that, and you know what, that is a pretty awesome thing!  So very awesome.  I have such a great love to give, and you know where I learned that?….right here.  I love you all so very much and I know I’ll find my way when God thinks it’s right for me, and until then, I love you all so very much and I thank you every day that I can wake up and be near  your, near your love for me.


I’m not happy here. I feel trapped. I’ve never been this low in my life and yet here I am. Trying so hard to find the light I once contained. Trying so hard to accept the changes that have been made. Trying so hard to pray for guidance. Yes, I try in my prayers because there are many moments I feel he does not hear me. Or that maybe I am not doing it correctly.   Life is so not fair.  Why God, have you kept love from finding me, why God, have you placed me here.  Why God?   And then he answered……..  He told me to hold on a little longer.  And if that little longer takes longer than I want, then to hold on a little more longer.  Happiness awaits.  Happiness is on it’s way.  God does not place things in front of us for no reason.  We are here to learn, here to appreciate what is yet to come, to teach us and prepare us for the wonderful things just around the corner!!   God, told me that he is preparing me, getting me ready for my next chapter in life.  Sure, it might seem like I’m standing still and not getting anywhere but in fact I am in the most intense time of my life… For the wisdom and perspective I am gaining at this time about what I truly want in life, what’s important in life, is forming the foundation for everything to come!  For, if I did not have what I’m going through today, tomorrow would not be possible.  I wouldn’t change a thing!!  I am right where I need to be and I now know this.  I am sorry I doubted you, myself, and the plan.  There is always a plan.  I welcome the journey!

God bless you all.  I am blessed, I now realize in writing this.  Sometimes it seems not so, but that is only a fleeting moment and when I awake the next day, it is a new day.  New birds on my window seal.  New flowers blossoming in the garden.  New dream, new hopes, new thoughts and words in my mind.  I will go now.  I will go and tell my family how much I love them and how much I would miss them if I ever was to leave.  For someday I will.  I know.  And it is these very special moments, in memory, which will get me through any hard times in the future.  To my future husband and children, I will be strong, I am strong, I am on my way.  I am coming.