Tag Archives: high school

Don’t Be Mean To Me Mommy I’ll be Good

9 Mar

Parents Don't Love MeDon’t be mean to me Mommy, I’ll be good….are words of a 5 year old, a 12 year old, a 28 year old, a 42 year old, a 62 year old, or an 82 year old!

No matter how much we like to think of ourselves as “independent”, grown up, our own person, the love of our Father or Mother is something that is deep routed into us and we will ALWAYS strive to find their approval, acceptance, and love.

This is not anything new in the world that I’m revealing.  There have been countless movies, and books on the subject.  On Golden Pond is one movie that comes to mind first where Jane Fonda desperately still sought Norman, her fathers love and acceptance even though she was in her 40’s and had her own family.   She had been carrying this hurt within her, all her life.

deepest hurt everThe “hurt” or feeling that a parent doesn’t love you completely is probably the deepest hurt anyone can feel.  Marriages, boyfriends, and girlfriends come and go.  They can be replaced.   But you only have one set of parents and there is never a re-do!    The love and acceptance of a parent is of the deepest and most important relationship all people have.  You can’t change this, it is always there within you!

I only blog about this because someday I hope to be a dad. And I will be an amazing dad! No matter what, some bonds, some love’s, are inseparable and unbreakable!

Please love your children “no matter what”!

EZ

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Does Praying to God Work?

22 Jan

This week I told a friend about my struggles in life and she said she’d pray for me. The very next day, I came up with a very brilliant idea for a new product which is in my area of expertise.

On a side topic, if you are good at something, then you should follow that area and exploit the heck out of it for as long as you can! Well, for the last 5 years, since my company blew up and melted into a hunk of nothingness and sorrow, I have been pursuing a side path which I am not an expert at. Needless to say, last week I was down to my very last $20.

I made it through last weeks struggles of seemingly no hope and have a little time to regroup again. (Thank you Family!). This will be about the 400’th time I’ve regrouped in the last 5 year period. But, I have no other choice. It is my only option. When one path isn’t working, you tweak it, and tweak it, and tweak it, or finally jump ship! Well, I haven’t jumped ship, even though I have tried very much to do so, my mother and former business partner in the company urged me not too. Oh I don’t know, if this new product proves to be my “comeback”, does that mean every time I wanted to “jump ship”, I was WRONG? I guess so. Thank you mom!

For the first time in oh so many many years I am truly excited about something! Yesterday I sang the Jack N The Box commercial song, Jumbaco, Jumbaco, Jumbaco, we love Jumbaco! LOL

I know for sure I have a winning new, revolutionary concept and product. How can I be so sure? Because I was once the very top, top, top, expert in this field! I was the the king! I didn’t invent it, but I took the invention and changed it so many times, with so many patents, that when you are the king of something, you just know it and everyone else does also! Once again, I have reinvented this product!

Back to this blog topic. Does praying to God work? I don’t know what is the absolute answer.

I prayed to god many times during my 5 years of “desperation” and he never answered or gave me what I prayed for. Joel Osteen says, God makes you go through things to prepare you for the great things ahead and works on his own time schedule, now ours.

My mom says she has also been praying for me. Maybe it was her prayers who were answered. I won’t say I’ve given up praying to God, but I have conceded I don’t have a direct line to him. Or do I?

I have not sold this new product, but I know for sure it is revolutionary in the field I am an expert in.

To my friend, my mom, or myself, or all of us combined. I thank you very much! For even if only for the last few days, I have finally had hope and been happy!

I am the expert in this field! It feels so good to BE BACK! I hope!

I Was Once A Great Warrior! Superhero and Problem Solver to All!

21 May

I was once a great warrior! The problem with taking a warrior out of the war is that he is lost.

For as long as I can remember I was great in intense situations. Always the one who stepped up to take on the crises, the danger, the bully, the out of body situation, with a clear head and decisive action! I was good! I was the soldier, the leader who could identify “in slow motion” what was needed and decisively direct others and act myself in a swift way to a positive calm outcome!

I was a warrior! Superhero!

And with the few of us in life who have that metal edge, when moments of being not needed to save the world, called into action, “downtime”!…….we lose our edge! We fall into depression and self destruction. We isolate ourselves, for our former warrior lifestyle was fed by directing others to solve the task at hand, the crisis.

Without the crisis we are very disappointed in humanity. People are weak. People suck.

‘Rambo First Blood’ was all about this. “Back there I used to be responsible for dozens of the best men, and million dollar machinery, back here I am nothing”!

‘Apocalypse Now’, when Martin Sheen was drunk in his dirty little bedroom, and his higher ups came to find him is another good example of a warrior in down time!

‘Patton’, when George C. Scott said, “I’d be proud to lead you guys in battle, anytime, anywhere”!

I don’t have any “larger than life” media type credentials in my past which would distinguish me to someone who does not know me as a warrior, and someone who has “the edge” in life. Other than those that knew me and relied on me to solve their life problems. I was an athlete in High School and College and always won the game with a winning home run or winning sack of the quarterback. I was the one who people pulled into the bathroom at parties for me to solve some issue. I was the one when fights were about to break out would step in and take on or diffuse the aggressor no matter his size or the situation. After college I entered the business world, and I was always the one to tackle the largest, most stressful crisis or most difficult customer. I did the dirty work that no one else wanted to do. In life, I have been the one given the task to tell others their family member died. I have been the one to tell girlfriends and boyfriends, husbands and wives, their significant other doesn’t want them anymore. I have called CEO’s out of the blue and crashed Presidential candidate meetings and had discussions with world leaders and policy advisers of Israel and other middle eastern countries leaders. I have dated super-models, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition models, Ambassadors daughters, Kings granddaughters, Senators daughters, Professional sports legends daughters, and have lived life like few others!

It has been some time since I was in the “war”, and able to be me! Not a military war, but the war of life. It is like I was captured by the enemy and the enemy has kept me in solitary confinement!

There is no conclusion to the blog post as the journey is not over which only comes in death. Maybe a “war” will rear it’s ugly head and I’ll be called back in action! I can only wish not! For, I believe in the good. The good in people and all humanity. But, I know differently. People are bad for the most part. I wish it were different. Those that have, want more. Those that have not, want more. It is a very ugly want, take, want, take world. I don’t want to be part of it. But I am!

“A man with no purpose, is a man waiting to die” ~ Earth Zebra

I was once a great warrior!