I was once a great warrior! The problem with taking a warrior out of the war is that he is lost.
For as long as I can remember I was great in intense situations. Always the one who stepped up to take on the crises, the danger, the bully, the out of body situation, with a clear head and decisive action! I was good! I was the soldier, the leader who could identify “in slow motion” what was needed and decisively direct others and act myself in a swift way to a positive calm outcome!
And with the few of us in life who have that metal edge, when moments of being not needed to save the world, called into action, “downtime”!…….we lose our edge! We fall into depression and self destruction. We isolate ourselves, for our former warrior lifestyle was fed by directing others to solve the task at hand, the crisis.
Without the crisis we are very disappointed in humanity. People are weak. People suck.
‘Patton’, when George C. Scott said, “I’d be proud to lead you guys in battle, anytime, anywhere”!
I don’t have any “larger than life” media type credentials in my past which would distinguish me to someone who does not know me as a warrior, and someone who has “the edge” in life. Other than those that knew me and relied on me to solve their life problems. I was an athlete in High School and College and always won the game with a winning home run or winning sack of the quarterback. I was the one who people pulled into the bathroom at parties for me to solve some issue. I was the one when fights were about to break out would step in and take on or diffuse the aggressor no matter his size or the situation. After college I entered the business world, and I was always the one to tackle the largest, most stressful crisis or most difficult customer. I did the dirty work that no one else wanted to do. In life, I have been the one given the task to tell others their family member died. I have been the one to tell girlfriends and boyfriends, husbands and wives, their significant other doesn’t want them anymore. I have called CEO’s out of the blue and crashed Presidential candidate meetings and had discussions with world leaders and policy advisers of Israel and other middle eastern countries leaders. I have dated super-models, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition models, Ambassadors daughters, Kings granddaughters, Senators daughters, Professional sports legends daughters, and have lived life like few others!
It has been some time since I was in the “war”, and able to be me! Not a military war, but the war of life. It is like I was captured by the enemy and the enemy has kept me in solitary confinement!
There is no conclusion to the blog post as the journey is not over which only comes in death. Maybe a “war” will rear it’s ugly head and I’ll be called back in action! I can only wish not! For, I believe in the good. The good in people and all humanity. But, I know differently. People are bad for the most part. I wish it were different. Those that have, want more. Those that have not, want more. It is a very ugly want, take, want, take world. I don’t want to be part of it. But I am!
“A man with no purpose, is a man waiting to die” ~ Earth Zebra
I was once a great warrior!