It isn’t so much in keeping one’s faith that is hard but it is being able to look past the immediate life experiences which causes us to lose focus on the core values and faith we hold dear to us!
Faith is easy. It is something we find when times are tough, it is something we find when times are good! Identifying our dreams is easy. It’s living daily life and “keeping our eye on the ball, the prize, the dream” as they say which is not so easy.
For example (and this is not a good one as I don’t have any major drama right now in my life to illustrate with, but here you go in my small way that I experienced tonight.),…… …….tonight I was invited to a wine tasting party at a local wine shop. Pretty much your basic invite to sample different wines and then buy a bottle expectation. Well, not exactly an “invite”, as if you read this blog then you know I just moved to this area (“heaven on earth”), and don’t know anyone or get invites to social gatherings! Pretty much your basic “new kid” loser which is entirely another story from 8’th grade which still haunts me! But I’ll save that for another blog!
Ok, so the woman in front of me at the grocery store, which has a post office in it (who knew this was possible!) told me about the wine shop below where I live was having a wine tasting “party” this Saturday (tonight)! She was a very nice woman, perhaps 80 years old (lush I think to myself at the time), and let me be totally honest, she told me that the owner of the wine shop was an awesome girl and she raved about her.
So, I’m doing weekend work upstairs on my cloud that god has created for me and I start thinking that staying home with mom, (yes my mom is staying with me for a bit, read prior blogs), is not exactly what I should be doing on a Saturday night, especially since there is a “hot girl” downstairs waiting for my charm and wit to sweep her offer her feet. And to boot she is a business owner which always ads to the hotness factor!
So, away from the computer I go, to change jeans, put on one of my NYC expensive sweaters (I used to live there for about 12 years), an off I go downstairs to meet my “hot girl” business owner. Even though it is only 4F degree’s out, I choose not to put on a jacket and “tuke (hat)”, as I want to enter as the cool guy with no jacket, looking hot and it might create some conversation. After all, this is the purpose!
My out of the elevator, out of the building, 4F degree bone chilling coldness journey only lasts for about 30′ feet, as I enter the wine shop! Pretty much everyone ignores my entrance….Yikes! Not exactly what I’m used to, as the one who is destined and recognized to save the world upon it’s brink of demise! Go me! It’s okay, it looks like a small crowd anyway. A few couples and a few solo’s, mostly guys.
I slide into the store, unnoticed so I pretend, although in reality everyone knows I came in, and I analyze the room. In the corner is couple with marriage problems and she is forcing him to come out and fulfill her desire to part of the “in crowd”. Behind the wine “bar”/serving bar is the owner who is suffering from anxiety because not enough people showed up to her “Hollywood party” she envisioned in her wine tasting party. To the right is 2 girls, one with her back to me and the other might be a server at the party, can’t tell. The far side of the room seems to be 2 or 3 groups, can’t tell as they have elephant herd mentality at a watering hole and divide into non distinguishable groups of the same herd.
Looks like this is going to be a short adventure I say to myself. I make a quick and low key once around the room sizing up the group, and taking in the wine selections. Looks like my “hot girl” wine shop owner offers nothing out of the ordinary.
I resign myself to the conclusion that this will not be a fruitful adventure as I hoped. My days of going to amazing NYC parties is a thing of the past. Well, that is all good with me because while those parties were and seemed to be amazing on the surface, they in hindsight (which we all know is 20/20 perfect vision) were not full of anything of lasting substance. They were pretty much a waste of time in hindsight.
Will, this be a waste of time too? Perhaps! But then “she” turns around, the gem in the corner with her back to me prior is the gem I hoped to meet! Woo-Hoo! Blond, 5’9″, sexy little glasses saying, “I’m smart”, but I like dumb guys glasses! (Okay again, I might be getting ahead of myself in this story)! She would definitely be a good first conquest in my new land I call home. Let’s test my former dating skills that I used to have such a great command over before my exile to Hell the last few years!
So far most everything on my trip to my new “home” has been pretty lucky, amazing, and god destined! So, I hope so, because it has been pretty much all GOOD! I’d hate to have to blog that god’s destiny is for a bad things, so yes it is God Destined.
I make my move to first approach her friend, the non-hot girl, as this has proven to be an incredible “line”/”move” in my successful dating tactics and proves to be once again successful. After, a moment of ignoring the hot girl girl and talking with her less than hot friend, the hot girls can’t help herself but to show her insecurity and engage me directly. Pretty much she is saying, pay attention to me, I’m hot.
But, what is different this time is this is not your usual girl from my old home land, in that she is nice. Can my previous jaded bias opinion of women now not have any substance to it?
Well, after 20 minutes of talking to her, (her friend went to the other side of the room), she was a nice person, hot, seems to be of substance and a good person.
Time is dwindling and the crowd is now down to 6 people. Time to make the move or move on. After picking up a bottle of wine to buy, since this was really an invite to buy and not taste wine, I ask her to see her again. She is flushed and politely says “I’m not in a position to accept”. Good answer, although not the one I was hoping for.
Point being … tonight I was not given the result to the “faith” that I believe in. Do I feel bad? Sure, a little. But, this was just one moment in time, one person in life of thousands I will meet. We all can not lose focus of the big picture or get bogged down in individual moments of life and time. The clock keeps ticking, one experience leads to another and our faith in who we are and where we are headed is and always will be woven together by many many different moments of life.
“Life, is not about the immediate moment, but the moments that stack together creating the big picture!” ~ Earth Zebra