When you go through customs don’t you ever fantasize you are James Bond on a secret mission sneaking into a foreign country with a fake passport and all kinds of sneaky gadgets created by Q the gadget maker? Well I do!
Today I crossed from one country to another. And yes, it was just as dramatic as when James Bond sneaks into a hostile, enemy country, under an assumed name and in disguise. I promise! They almost discovered me!
Well maybe not exactly the same, since it took all of about 20 seconds. “Where are you going” the evil border guard with machine guns, and sinister non-expressive look said…..”How long will you be there”, “What is the purpose of your trip”, and all while he was clicking, clicking, clicking into his computer trying to discover my secret identity! Thanks to Q, I made it past the dozen or so barking German Shepherds sniffing at the adhesive which was holding on my new face, beard, eyelashes, and complete reshaping of my facial structure into a Fabio look alike. The voice chip under my collar was a winner, changing my voice patterns, which if I had not put in place last minute, no doubt I would have been discovered by their voice recognition database and certainly blown my cover! It was a close call and pretty intense but I made it and am now in the agency “safe house” blending into a non-nondescript neighborhood deep into enemy territory.
It’s tough being a secret agent and managing a world renowned blog. Sorry to all my fans for my absence the last few days. The agency had me holed up with my fake family before crossing the border today while Q perfected my disguise. Needless to say, while I love my fake family for the legitimacy they gave me in being undercover, the time proved to be counter productive due to my fake nieces being like hummingbirds on crack and me being the juicy flower! If it weren’t for my secret spy training on how to deal with such situations I might have hurled myself in front of a bus! (Secret spy LOL!)
Tomorrow I will be back on the road heading to my destination where my mission will start in earnest. Surly it won’t be an easy trip but Q has provided me a map of land mines, and I’m to be provided with a guide for part of the trip to give the illusion of a family just headed down the road to grandmothers house.
Wish me luck, but then again, my name is Bond, James Bond, secret agent and I don’t need luck, I make it!