I wonder if “the one” we end up with in each of our individual seeking’s for love is a choice or “meant to be” and will happen no matter what.
I read about people who tell stories of “love at first site” and they just knew that the person in front of them was to be the one they would spend the rest of their life with. How did they know? Was it that they simply were attracted to this person and they have dozens of others…..”mis-fires”….caucuses…. on the highway of past attractions.
Is it just that the one we end up with turned out to be the one so it is easy to say, “I knew at first site”. How many other “at first site’s” did these people also have?
Today, I met a girl who could possibly be “the one”. Incredibly grace, elegance, and on the surface all the things a King would seek for his Queen. I even told her about this blog, so to a certain extent does that mean I’m writing this to her on some deep sub-conscious level? Does this mean that I think she is the one, or a candidate? Where does the official line get drawn and distinguished between our natural “hope for good things” and some sort of god guided “meant to be” scenario?
If you were to drive on the highway of the past for any of us, of all the possible “the one’s” you’d need a tank to drive over all the dust remains to make the highway passable on the road to today. I think this is true for all of us. What is the difference between all those “the ones” and any of today’s “the ones”?
I think that in our journey in life people are always optimistic towards the future. It is in our genes to expect a plentiful harvest, a positive outcome, and reaching our dreams and goals. I think this also rings true for finding love.
I’d like to think that “meant to be” does exist. I’d like to believe that every person has another person they are born to find and travel through life together with. But, why is it not this way for other mammals and animals created by god? Why is it that we should believe that the human experience is special to none other? How do you explain divorce when if asked, most of those getting divorced thought they had found “the one” in the beginning too?
Is it possible that our desire as a society and individuals to be “special” because we exist at the top of the food chain and are arguably the smartest animal in the universe figure into our need for those we choose to “give ourselves too” to be somehow chosen by a higher power? Is this especially heightened to Americans as the current dominant super power of all countries and feeling entitled to being special is of less an importance for other cultures and countries?
Well, as someone who still hopes someday to see Santa Claus climbing down the chimney, the Tooth Fairy leaving the money under my future children pillows when they lose a tooth, the Easter Bunny, Mother Nature, The Great Pumpkin, Unicorns, and Angel’s granting wishes every time a bell is heard, I will also continue to believe that there is just one person out there for each of us and if it is meant to be, then it will be.
And until I meet that person, the road bumps created by the ones that did not make the cut make the ride an interesting one!
“Good luck to you all, it is meant to be!” ~ Earth Zebra
The problem with the US President’s poll numbers is that he doesn’t quite grasp the reason he was elected.
Politicians, Madison Avenue advertising guru’s, and Wall Street types all know that a campaign is not so different than GM, Ford or Chrysler marketing and advertising a new car for sale. Why is the American public, the general population, so stupid to believe that EVERYTHING isn’t already polled, focus grouped, and the result known before it happens! Are you kidding me?…American politics is probably the largest money’s spent to advertise and analyze selling potential of any “business” enterprise!
Dear Mr President, you perfected “Pennsylvania Avenue Politics” (advertising agency campaigning)! Congrats to your advertising agency which packaged you up with a nice little bow telling us what we all wanted to hear!
Unfortunately for many inventors who “invent” or perfect an incredible idea, they are not the one who ultimately profits from them! And I honestly think you know this, as it seems you already know you won’t be reelected. I also think that another campaign you really don’t want and your heart is not in it.
“To duplicate greatness or brilliance is not so easy to do twice as moments in time pass and so do people’s fancy” ~ Earth Zebra
Your poll number are not good, NOT because of the economy or anything to do with people out of work. You give yourself too much credit and are believing what your advertising agency is branding you as instead of the true measure of yourself or your Presidency! It’s all hype Mr President! A marketing message. Don’t believe everything you read or everything your inner sanctum of “smoke blowers” whisper into your ear (or other places) about how wonderful you are.
People, in all cultures want someone to lead us. You have not done this. You SOLD “us”, the American people out once you got our votes. You have called us stupid, and compared “us” to a herd of sheep that you can “manage” in any way you want. Your advertising agency fed us a bunch of words that “we” wanted so much to believe. We wanted you to be the man who would finally be true to your words. Only your words, proved to hold no substance…..just words.
You were elected because you promised us all “change”. You told us that you were going to change the way Washington works, in that “we” the people who elected you thought you were going to stop the “political” bickering and political posturing that is put BEFORE “WE THE PEOPLE” as normal course in Washington!
You were elected because we wanted to believe that you could make “our land”, to be “the land of the people”, to be a nice place for EVERYONE to live and prosper!
In all honesty, you could have had the policy that we all would have to stand on our heads and sing the American Anthem every Monday at noon and we would have elected you. Why? Because we wanted someone finally to not be part of the corruption of government but instead we got you…..you are just as corrupt Mr President as what we wanted to “change”! It’s shame, we had great “hope” for you!
You told us you were “different” and that you represented “us” the people and “we” were going to do things the right way. But you have proven to just be another politician who can’t be trusted to be “one of us”, the people.
You have proven yourself Mr President to be a fake, an impostor, a snake oil salesperson. We elected you because you promised “hope and change”, but what we all got was, “say whatever you can to get elected” speeches written by some Madison Avenue advertising agency telling us what we wanted to hear that you read off of a teleprompter!
Shame on you Mr President! Fool us once shame on you, fool us twice shame on us!
Sometimes in our daily lives we are have the “pedal to the metal” with a specific purpose, on target goal, and clear direction in all that we do. These moments are the best as you know what you have to do and can see the prize!
But then, there are the other moments which seams to be where I am at, at the moment. Granted these moments might last an hour, a day, or a year. You just never know. I will hope for the hour long stint version!
If you’re one of the several hundred who follow this blog (ut um), religiously, then you know I just moved to a new city, a new home, with pretty much just the skin on my back, a nickel, and 1 smoke. Ok, I don’t smoke but that is how they would have done it in the movies!
The first 2 weeks in my new home were full of all the new amazement of discovery that comes with moving to a new place. Figuring out where you put the coffee mugs, and how to get to the grocery store proved to be enough to keep me engaged and the adrenaline flowing. Now 2 weeks in, I’ve settled in, I’ve been to the grocery store several times and know where the peanut butter is in the store.
Now what seems to be the question rattling around my cavernous head. Why am I here? What am I suppose to do? What is life suppose to be and where is that darn purpose that I need to keep a fine balance in my daily pursuit of happiness?
All questions, and no answers! Darn, I hate when that happens!
I suppose in times of void, you count your blessings, look at the wonderful new things in front of you, simplify, build a good foundation one brick at a time, and just float for a bit…..the light off in the distance will show itself in time.
“The path to the future sometimes is hidden by the summer foliage and you are forced to enjoy where are are!. Give it time, Fall will come, the trees will lose their leaves, and the path will be easily found” ~ Earth Zebra
In a day of much stress, relatives coming to visit for Thanksgiving Day dinner today….this will be a short story/blog this time since I’m “ball-less” at the moment and need to save as much oxygen I possibly can for the rest of my girlish body!
My uncle and aunt came for Thanksgiving Dinner!
Last year, I said Grace and Carved the Turkey! Go me! I was the man that most men try to be like! But that was last year! Oh what a year can do to a person as at the moment I am pretty much Pippi Longstocking!
Last year was the first time in my life that I was “allowed”, or was a willing participant to do it! Last year, my brother, his wife and kids were the ones to visit and while I had no expectation to say Grace or carve the turkey it just happened and I excelled! I nailed it. It was a Grace full of thanks, well wishes, and flowed with the eloquence of an Alfred Hitchcock screen play. Oh shoot, maybe not a good example as, isn’t he the one who wrote the movie with the Bates Motel scary movie?
This year is different, my uncle and my aunt were here and this is not just another day! This is the first time since moving to this new area that anyone has come (or been allowed to come). My uncle is not just a normal uncle, he is a super uncle. The man that all other men are judged by. He is the ipidimy of how a growing boy should develop into a man and the model of what any male should be in life. My Uncle has long been held in great esteem as a Man among Men to be “THE MAN THAT ALL MEN SHOULD BE JUDGED BY”!
Saying Grace and carving the turkey was a great concern of mine all day in that I might be asked. For these tasks I have been taught throughout my childhood are reserved for the MEN! The head of the household! You’d think that at my age I’d be willing to accept this role without any reservation. Well, it is not that simple. I am a visitor in my own home at the moment. I am not the head of my own household.
So, as the festivities of preparing Thanksgiving dinner progressed with an Aunt and Mum running the show with me doing most of all the un-recognized actual cooking….it was offered to me to carve the turkey (granted it came from my mum with the pretext “do you think you can carve the turkey without ruining it”) question?
Well, in hind site, I should have just done it. Without any deeper analyzing and influence from deep rooted childhood insecurities! I said, I”‘d like to learn from my Uncle”. Who then proceeded to ruin it, with no dark meat. I did a much better job last year and could have excelled this year as well!
Then, it came time to say Grace and I was the last to sit down, and it was sprung upon me to do it! However, this question haunted me all day long, yes haunted!…as I really didn’t want to do it!
So, once again, regretfully now, I played it to my Uncle to do! Was this a planned out moment in time when all my family looked to me to accept a role of leadership in the family? Was this the moment in time when life would change and clarity of all things could be had? Nope! It was the moment in time when I gladly accepted my role as the youngest son of 4 and let others lead!
I asked my mum later if he did it well, and her answer was, “well, not as good as you could have done”! Awwww, the haunting continues for many years after apparently until redemption can be made!
With girlfriends in my own apartment, I usually take charge and accept the role as “Man”. It comes naturally to me. Afterall I have the goods and the instincts to accept the job. I do it and do it without any reservations. With family however, and this year with my uncle who is considered by all as the greatest man of all men, I passed and looked for his lead.
I feel bad about myself this Thanksgiving!
Oh thank god this drama doesn’t involve me this time. Well not, yet anyway! She’ll be single soon! W*nk!! Everyone needs an understanding shoulder (ut um…!)
“Our predisposed genetic survival needs overtake all other desires when it comes to attraction” ~ Earth Zebra
Yes, yes, I’ve had my share of such relationships (hot girl with less than hot guy) because lets face it, I do not fit into the “hot guy” category. I fit more into the cute guy on one of my better days (daydreaming) and only because of my confidence (confidence with modesty) and the way I treat my significant others I’m with. I don’t get the hot girls because of how I look, I get them (well some and usually they have some emotional issue involving Satanic rituals), because I listen, I have a “way”. The way is simply knowing how to “take care” of a girl. Not as easy as it sounds.
Taking care of a girl at it’s most fundamental core is protecting her. Protecting her physically first, emotionally second, and spiritually third. They must be in this order to be effective! Notice I in no way mentioned money! Every girl wants a MAN and you have to be a MAN if you want to be with extraordinary women. (Guys, don’t hate the messenger, hate the message !!)
Now lets clarify, this “taking care of” does not, and I’ll repeat, does not move past the lines which could be considered dominating, smothering, suffocating, or in any way where it could be said he is such an a*s to her or a macho moron! You know those guys, the ones who tell their girlfriends/wives pretty much everything in what to do and how to be. Those types of relationships and those in them (both the guys and the girls), really make me ill to see and I’ll never understand them. Where is your self respect? Where is your social development into something beyond and ape and apeette?
Women do like to have a strong man. It is in our genes as “animals”. The strongest bull elk gets to mate with the strongest cow elk in the herd, in order to make the species the strongest it can be. While the human population has through economic industrial revolutions made our most basic genetic needs for the species a little blurred, we have not moved beyond our most instinctual needs for the strongest to mate with the strongest! It still remains in the way we are wired, and programmed.
No matter how much you say, you don’t date or select a mate in this way, you do. It just is how things are. We do not get to choose who we fall in love with, love and attraction just happens. And it just happens with our pre-wired genetic need to mate with the strongest that will have us, and the strongest that will take care of our instinctual needs! A modern day woman’s needs are the 3, I identified above…….protection physically, emotionally challenging/satisfying, and spiritually fulfilling (being a best friend and chemistry).
Where the human population has gone awry is in what society has taught us is “the strongest”. It goes both ways. The men we are told and taught from the time we are born that are the strongest are “ken” and the strongest girls are “barbie” and certain variations of it but it’s all the same.
*** Looks/Muscles/Power for men AND Looks/Charm/Sex Appeal for women ***
Tonight in visiting with friends, the topic of a very dear friend of mine who is a fabulous girl and incredibly beautiful came up. She has it all. She is not only physically all put together but her personality, upbringing, daily spirituality, and overall awesomeness is pretty awesome! She has a great job far out-earning her husband, has grown from an insecure college girl into an amazingly confident beautiful woman. OK, I’m a fan!
The problem comes in that her husband has always been, (at least I saw it from the first time I met him), not in her league. He is just your geeky, nothing special, common guy who is way out of his league! A few years ago it was fine. She is developing and growing from a girl into a woman.
Tonight a friend of ours revealed that she was questioning her love for him. Code words for, “I’m hot and he is not measuring up! I have outgrown him”!
……Can a hot girl be with a less than hot guy and make it last? No. Not unless he has something special physically, emotionally, and spiritually to offer her.
To give thanks! Ok, I got that part. But what really is it that we are to do on this day and who says we are to do it?
It seems that many countries have a “day of thanks” once a year so it isn’t the Pilgrims thanking the Indians for helping them survive the winter as we are taught in the USA (conceited society). Canada has a Thanksgiving Day too but a month earlier than the USA. Winter hits a little earlier in Canada than the US so maybe they were starving a month earlier and their Indians helped them?
How about the Italian, or Colombian, or Filipino Day of thanks? Were they hungry too?
Maybe it has nothing to do with the past at all! I think that this day of Thanks, whichever day of the year it is for your country, is a day in which is a celebration for the hopefully plentiful crops we had during the summer. It is a day for family’s to be together in preparation for the cold winter to come.
In most cultures, even if modern day times try to make it obsolete, we all are forced to follow the seasons of nature. In the Spring we till our land and plant our crops. In the summer food is plentiful and we make sure that we grow enough to sustain us through the winter months. In the fall we harvest our crops, prepare our lands for the next spring, we slaughter our cattle, and we hunt our game for our winter food supply. All of this comes with great work and effort. The long days of Spring, Summer, and early Fall is when we get the work done for the rest of the year. It makes sense that when all this is done, that a day was established as a “day off” in which we all sit down with our family’s, reflect on the spring and summer that just past, and give thanks for what the hard work produced.
“Thanksgiving Day is a day for a deep breath of hopefully a job well done” ~ Earth Zebra
Sadly though, most people are not farmers anymore. Sadly because the days when most people were farmers, were times of caring for one another, times when a simple handshake was good enough. The days when most of us were hunters, gatherers, and grew our food gave a clear direction to people on how to live life. The choices (stresses), which all of us who live today are given, create many problems in life for people today.
In the past you’d wake up, feed the animals, and come back in for a little breakfast. You’d then head out into your property to tend to the daily functioning of your land and animals. About 1PM or so, you’d come back in for the largest meal of the day, “dinner” to fuel your body for the remaining work day. 5PM or so, “supper” which many times were left overs from your large mid-day meal would be in order and family time for the rest of the evening.
The days of “simplicity of life” most likely will never come back. There are too many gadgets, too many options, too much media, advertising, and technology being forced fed to us. It is a good thing we can’t jar, pickle, and store a microchip for the winter to eat!
I am Thankful for this!
As I type this, I am in a massive, yet cozy, warm and comfortable “cavern”. It is my cavern. Only to myself. It shelters me from the outside elements of cold wind, snow, critters that might like to eat me, and most importantly it shelters me from other human beings. I make my own rules in my cavern. I wake up when I want, I eat when I want, I allow in only those I choose to. There are no “outside world” rules that effect me here in my cavern. The world is what I make it.
Is this my reality? Or is there another reality which I’m part of?
It seems to me that reality is perfect, pure, and a fabulous thing when not messed with. Humans and all animals for that matter are on this planet for only 3 things. Eat, survive, reproduce. That is reality. The building blocks upon which all the “extra things” stack themselves upon and complicate and screw up reality.
Why is it, that mankind can’t just stay to those 3 things? Why is it, that we have to complicate our realities with family, friends, money, relationships, work, and anyone we encounter outside our own individual dwellings? This is the problem which causes all stresses, conflict, and anything other than a peaceful, happy, life.
Does my reality really need to be sucker punched by the grocery checker with a bad attitude? Do I have to have my incredible peace encroached upon by the person at the post office who is stuck in her own reality full of hate for her life? Do family relationships need to play such a large role in a persons life if they are going to cause questioning of my reality? Does work have to consume such a large part of ones daily reality, causing so many to lose focus of the core things that are really important in life?
I stay in my cavern mostly. I am happy in my cavern, mostly. To venture out of my cavern means I will no doubt come in contact with someone who lives in a reality I really don’t care to be part of or have it’s negativivity come anywhere near my reality. I try to protect my reality all that I can from the bad, the evil, and those that like to snatch others nice realities just for sport or selfish reasons.
Reality can be a tricky thing in that society tells us that in order to be happy we are to engage other people as much as possible with kindness and well wishes. I’m not so sure about that. I tend to think that more people would be happy if less people were to intrude upon each other’s reality’s. How about not wanting to get to know me. How about not expecting my reality to be the same as yours and trying to contaminate mine. How about each of us, being really careful about who, and how we let others touch our realities. I think with a little less interaction with each other the world just might be a happier place.
“Reality is our own, until we allow others to touch it” ~ Earth Zebra
NO MATTER WHAT!
Other than myself, I have never found anyone to exhibit a “No Matter What” characteristic and way about life! Better known as “NMW” for those of us who are cool and know about LOL, OMG, BFF’s, and all the lingo of modern coolness. OMG did I JST, NW, WTF has come over me!
Best to define it first:
* To be true to another “No Matter What!”
What this means is not just the obvious of a romantic partner. It is for any relationship, a way of life, family, a code, a badge earned, best friends, a trusted way of interacting in life with everything we come in contact with. It is about anything other than ourselves. It is the most unselfish (insert anything) way of approaching something other than ourselves!
Trust me, I’ve looked and looked!! I’ve posted bat signals in the sky, personal ads in newspapers personal sections for “Man seeks Pina Colada’s, Getting Caught in the Rain and a NMW’s Character”. I’ve written graffiti on bus stop benches with my personal email address and even once wrote a letter to Santa Claus one year not so long ago, to no avail. “No Matter What”, only I possess it, I have concluded. Not even Santa could find another but me, for on Christmas morning I discovered my letter with return personal penmanship from Santa on the bottom, next to a half eaten cookie and half drank milk glass saying “look in the mirror pal, what do you expect of me, miracles?”! Geee, thanks Santa, appreciate the advice! I guess maybe I will have to write Mother Nature next for an answer!
I see in the movies, relationships with NMW (No Matter What!) characteristics of it’s stars, happening all the time on the screen and TV. Is this where my “expectations” have gone awry, for the movies are not real life and I’ve twisted what I expect of real life into something that doesn’t exist? But that can’t be true, as I am here! I am not a movie script. I have not been invented by fantasy of a screen writer!
Sometimes I think I am part of a leper colony when I do bring it up….a 3 legged centipede who resides at a rocking chair factory! Why is that? Well, it is because the society we live in accepts less worthy characteristics that 99.9999999999999999999991 % of the people in this world have and if you ask a lump of coal why all rocks are can’t be the Star of Africa, you can be sure it is going to say something to legitimize it’s own worthiness in this world. You can’t ask the fox, in this world, if the chickens are safe.
I will keep searching for another person in life who also has the “No Matter What” gene within them but I’m skeptical about the chances of finding them. It’s ok, the Star of Africa shines brightly enough to light up so much, and so do I!
“To find another who cares about you ‘No Matter What’ is a rare thing indeed” ~ Earth Zebra